The holidays give us lots of opportunities to be grateful. Thanksgiving is, of course, a holiday about being grateful, but it is also a good time to teach children about thankfulness, particularly in looking ahead to holidays like Christmas and Hanukah where many children anticipate receiving gifts. At Milestones Learning Center, we celebrate the season in part by using this time to teach children how to be thankful. Here are four ways you can do this at home.
1. Say “Thank You” Every Day
One of the best way to teach your child to say thank you is to model it. Say “thank you” to your partner for washing the dishes. Say “thank you” to your children for putting their dirty plates in the sink or cleaning up the milk that dripped onto the table. Say “thank you” to the cashier. Say “thank you” to the server at the restaurant when she refills your water. The more children hear you expressing gratitude, the more likely they are to follow suit.
You can also whisper a reminder in your child’s ear to say thank you when they are out. Whispering a reminder avoids the awkward “what do we say?” reminder in front of stranger that may put your child on the spot or make them feel resentful. The goal is that saying “thank you” becomes second nature for your child, and it will likely become that way if it is second nature for you.
2. Write “Thank You” Notes
When your child receives a gift, there is no better way to express thanks than with a hand-written note. In a culture where everything is fast-paced and texting is so easy, writing a note with your child expresses thankfulness in a concrete way. Here are
some tips for writing thank you notes with your children.
- It’s never too late to send a thank you.
- If your child is preschool age, write the note for them but use their exact words. They may want to sign their name.
- Ask your child what they liked best about the gift. How did it make them feel? Try to be specific.
- If the gift was money, don’t mention the amount; instead, have your child say what he wants to buy with the money.
- Even if your child doesn’t like the gift, thank the giver for their thoughtfulness and generosity.
3. Teach Delayed Gratification
It is hard to resist your child begging for the greatest new this or that, but it is worth it. Teaching your child to wait for what they want builds excitement and gratification and increases the enjoyment of a thing when it is received. Another way to teach patience and diligence is to have your child work to earn money for part or all of the item. Help them to see the value of a dollar and to associate hard work with monetary reward, a skill they will need to harness later in life. Depending on the age of the child, hiring them for various jobs around the house may not be much of an actual help to you. But the important thing is that you are teaching the principles of hard work and reward. Hire them to “help” you pull little weeds in the front flower bed, or sort laundry, or wipe down the fronts of the cabinets. Children gain a sense of accomplishment when they are able to do the same kinds of work they see you doing, and are able to participate in buying the things that they want.
4. Count Your Blessings
Find ways to be thankful for the things you have. Listen to your child and prompt them with questions like, “what made you smile today?” “What was your favorite part of the trip to Gramdma’s?” “What was your favorite thing that we ate today?”
Maybe you find time to count your blessings during bedtime prayers. Maybe it is with a thankfulness jar, where each person puts in slips of paper expressing what they are grateful for. Thanksgiving dinner is a great time to read what is in the jar. Another idea from Focus on the Family is to play an alphabet game during a car ride where you have to come up with something you are thankful for that starts with each consecutive letter of the alphabet. “Thank you for ASKING how I am doing”; “thank you for playing BALL with me”; “thank you for CAMPING with me last month.” If you have multiple children, they can thank each other for things too! This is a great game to redirect children to if they are arguing.
At Milestones Learning Center we are always looking for ways to grow in expressing gratitude. Contact us today to see what we have to offer your family, and have a Happy Thanksgiving.